Well I'll tell you what I think,  I think this my future brain donors is where you are going to find yours truly from now on. That's what I think.

For those who weren't paying attention the last time I blogged here. I have moved to brain-donors.com.  There you will find all sorts of goodies. Membership is free, and membership has it's privileges. In addition to my blog, members have access to over 40 full length Zombie and Horror Movies.  There are Games, assorted videos,  pictures, and a whole lot more. 

You can create your own custom profile, start your own discussion group, and even your own blog. Hell I encourage it.  So if you haven't already joined me at brain-donors.com, what are you waiting for?

Now you're on your own.

Well I'll tell you what I think, I think it's time to make a move. That's what I think.

Witywit is moving to a new home.  After much thought and deliberation, I have decided to move the blog to another site that is more in keeping with what I want to do with it.  As such this will be the last new blog entry at this web address.

From here on out you can find me and my blog, as well as a whole mess of other feature here at "Brain-Donors". Brain-Donors.com is a social network that will be run by yours truly.  Membership is free, and has many unique privileges.  Not only can you  continue to read my blog, but you can make your own if you so desire. Some other features include:

A Completely Customizable  User Page
Forums
Live Chat
Music, Video, and Picture Uploads and Sharing
User Groups
Blogs
Event Calendar

And lots more.  Think of it as a home away from Facebook for those who love Zombies,  want to kill Zombies, or just love the Horror Genre in general. Use it to promote your horror related business, band, book, blog, hobby, art project, or Zombie Walk. If there isn't a feature you need just let me know and I will see if we can accommodate it.  So please show your support and become a Brain Donor today.

Now you're on your own.

CONTACT from Dominick Sivilli on Vimeo.

Well I'll tell you what I think, I think sometimes it's not about who you know, but rather who you don't know...yet. That's what I think.

On Friday I got a rather interesting email from a name I did not recognize, Jeremiah Kipp. Rather than automatically hit the spam button as I would normally do in such a situation, the subject line "Horror Films for review?" intrigued me, so I opened it instead. I soon learned that Mr. Kipp is a journalist for Fangoria and Shock Cinema magazines, he was a fan of this blog, and he was wondering if I wouldn't mind reviewing a couple of the short films he has directed.

Who am I to say no to such a request? I responded to his email letting him know I would be happy to have a look at them and share my thoughts, but that I wouldn't be able to post any commentary on them on the blog until Tuesday. He replied again letting me know that that was fine, and requested I send him a link when I posted this article. Well here we are.

Mr. Kipp provided me with three links. One for the short film entitled "Contact" that you can see for yourself up above, another for a short film called "Crestfallen", and finally another link to a trailer for the feature length movie "The Sadist".  None of these films have a Zombie theme to them like the films I normally comment on here, but they are horror related so worth talking about regardless.

"Contact", shot completely in black and white, is a rather interesting piece. The imagery is surreal and sinister, and the deep shadows and contrasts provide a heightened sense of suspense. The subject matter is much deeper than it appears at first glance, and is definitely a film one should watch more than once in order to truly appreciate the vision Mr. Kipp has put on film.

My only quibble with "Contact", and it is a minor one, was the dialogue. Personally I feel the film would have been better off without it. It was rather jarring to hear someone speak when most of the film is silent except for the delightfully chilling musical score and succinctly timed sound effects.Those few lines of dialogue briefly spoiled my suspension of disbelief, and in my opinion detracted from the scene.  Again, a minor issue and not enough to put me off the film all together. 

"Crestfallen", is shot in color but muted by the masterful use of filters, and as such truly beautiful to behold. The entire film was simply an orgasm for the eyes. I can think of no other way to describe it. The score was likewise both haunting and heartbreaking at the same time, which carried the theme of the film so magnificently from start to finish. I was so upset when I came to realize that I could not share this one with you here, because of the three films that Mr. Kipp directed me to, this was without question my overall  favorite.

The story behind "Crestfallen" is a somewhat familiar one, that of a beautiful young woman who is committing suicide, and the imagery throughout it's 6 minute run tells us what led her to this very dark place. Not a word is spoken over the course of the entire film as the sober melody guides the veiwer  through her life, both happy times, and times of remorse. Mr. Kipp clearly understands the meaning of the word "crestfallen", and it shows in the  manner in which he so deftly chose to portray his subject manner.

The final piece was a trailer for a feature length movie called  "The Sadist." Mr Kipp explained to me in his email that it was his work on "Contact" and "Crestfallen" that landed him this gig as a director. The film stars Tom Savini, a name who should be familiar with any true horror fans out there.

Sadly though, I have to be brutally honest here, as much as I thoroughly enjoyed the short films that Mr. Kipp has directed, I didn't particularly care for what I saw in this trailer. The subject matter seemed way too uncomfortably familiar, and it simply lacked the style and finesse I had become accustomed to expecting in Mr. Kipp's short film work. While it is clearly a feather in his cap to direct a feature film, what I saw in this trailer just seemed completely disjointed from Mr. Kipp's previous ventures.

"The Sadist" tells the story of a psychotically maniacal, highly trained gulf war vet who has escaped from a mental institution and is butchering anything and anyone that gets in his path. I truly hate to say this, but what immediately sprang to mind after watching this trailer was that it is nothing more than a horrible mashed-up equivalent of  "First Blood" meets "Deliverance." That said, I don't blame Mr. Kipp entirely for what I watched.

Some of Mr. Kipp's stylistic photography still manages to eek it's way into this production, however the dialogue is so incredibly bad it completely distracts one from the gorgeous imagery Mr. Kipp has put forth on the screen.  I know people have come to expect schlocky dialogue in a slasher flick, but after seeing Mr. Kipp's short films, this was simply a horrible let down for me.  My advice to you Mr. Kipp is never work with that writer again, he is a complete and utter hack.

Now granted this was just a trailer, and perhaps it just presents the film in a bad light. Sometimes great movies just have horrible trailers. I suppose I will have to wait to see the film in it's entirety to make a final decision. That said, based on what I saw in the trailer I can tell you right now, I would not be likely to shell out my $10 to see it on the big screen.

So there you have it. If you care to see what I am talking about you can find the trailer for "The Sadist" here. Have a look for yourself, and tell me in the comments section whether you agree or disagree with my take on "The Sadist". Likewise, feel free to comment on "Contact" as well.

Now you're on your own.

Don't worry I haven't started the Zombie Apocalypse yet, so any errors you are encountering are on our end, not yours. I know a few of you who have been trying to subscribe or comment on the blog have been having some issues.  Also for some reason there seems to be a javascript issue with the "share" button.

I put a call into GoDaddy about this, and it seems your verification emails for commenting and subscribing may be going into you spam box, so be sure to check there.  As for the share button, it seems there was some issue with the coding of previous blog entries, but it looks like me might have that one fixed now. At least the test entry that the techs at GoDaddy posted seemed to work.

If you are still having issues with getting the verification email for commenting or subscribing, or are having any other technical issues please feel free to email me directly using the email address found in the right hand column of the blog.

Now you're on your own.

Well I'll tell you what I think, I think nothing says "educational toy" like a pack of screaming Lego Zombies chasing some future Lego brain donors, down a Lego street.  That's what I think.

Well it's shaping up to be a slow news day for yours truly, and at the last minute I found a video for today's "Video Du Gore".  It comes courtesy of the gang over at  "Lego Zombie Outbreak" on Facebook.  I have been following these guys for a few weeks now, and am consistently amazed at the scenes of Zombie goodness they can pump out with a bunch of building blocks.  Be sure to check out their Facebook page for daily updates and pictures of their latest creations.

Now you're on your own.

Well I'll tell you what I think, I think it's about high time I got to answering some of the questions that are filling the old mailbag before they attract moths. That's what I think.

"Ask the Dead Guy" is a new feature here at witywit.com that will be run every Monday from here on out so long as the questions keep coming. So if you have something you want to know either send me your questions via email, or you can post your questions Tuesday through Sunday on the wall of my Facebook page. Just log into Facebook, type Mister Cantankerous into the search engine and hit the like button, then post your question to the wall. You can ask me questions on any subject, and I will answer them to the best of my ability.

Question number one comes from Kitty Pandemic at Facebook:
"Mister Cantankerous, how much do you rely on smell for finding your lunch?"

Dear Kitty,
Contrary to popular belief, finding lunch is not as difficult as one might think. I simply find the nearest woman, and ask her to make me a sammich. If she refuses I simply eat her brain, and move on to the next woman.  I'll "rinse and repeat" this process until I obtain said sammich, and then eat her brain anyways. It is a very effective procedure, as evidenced by my ever expanding waistline.

Sense of smell is not all that necessary when one becomes a Zombie. Our sensory organs tend to deteriorate as time goes on, more or less making them inefficient in distinguishing a potential food source from something like, say a mannequin or a rubber sex doll, both of which can be very confusing for the newly undead.  In most cases one only has to sense that something is either repulsed, or in the process of a "fight or flee" response to our presence in order to confirm them as a potential source of sustenance.

Question number two comes from Kim Sophia, also on Facebook:
"Mister Cantankerous, what is the worst thing about being dead?"

Dear Kim,
Gosh that is a tough one. There are so many wonderful things about being dead, I hadn't really considered what the downsides might be.  I can tell you this much dating still sucks, but I have covered that in another post. I suppose the other really bad thing about being dead is the constant oppression.

Something few future brain donors understand is how difficult it can be to be treated like a non-person. Sure we don't partake in a lot of the activities that some of you enjoy, but that is only because in death we are more focused. We collectively  as a horde enjoy one primary activity which unfortunately for most of you out there, directly conflicts with your pursuit of life, liberty and happiness,  especially that life part. As such, rather than treat us with the respect one would normally ascribe to those at the top of the food chain, most of you get all "pew pew" at the sight of us, or failing that run away, rather than hear what we have to say.

If you honestly all took the time to get to know us better instead of scoping us out for a clear head shot, you might actually come to realize that we are the only semi-sentient beings on the planet who actually love you for your brains, and nothing else. That has got to be worth something no?

Our next question comes from Makena Kristine Lannes (that's a mouthful) also on Facebook:
"Mister Cantankerous, How does your body process the 'food' you eat?"

Dear Makena,
Sincerely speaking, I never really gave that all that much thought, but then I never truly understood how my body processed all the crap I gorged myself on when I was alive either. I am gonna have to assume that there are still some active chemicals that break the "food" down, but to be honest, once I get on a brain binge I can't imagine how it keeps up.

One common misconception about the "walking dead" is that we survive on brains alone, and this simply is not the case. If we did in fact depend on just brain food to sustain our existence it is quite clear by looking at the quality of some of the local brain donors that we would in fact starve rather quickly. While organs and flesh can supplement our dietary needs, some of us myself included, enjoy things that those of you still among the living likewise enjoy.  I for one am still very fond of coffee in the morning, and the occasional chili cheeseburger. That said I would highly advise against standing anywhere in the vicinity of one of us after consuming such, because we get the "winds" rather easily and they can be especially nasty.

Our last question for this week comes from an unnamed 11yo who's mom is gonna regret this :
"Mister Cantankerous, What was your first thought when you first woke up as a zombie? "

Dear 11yo who's Mommy is gonna regret this,
Honestly my first thought was "Holy Shit I ain't fucking dead!", but I am sure Mommy can put that into words that are more appropriate for your tender ears. In reality it was initially  kinda like how Daddy gets after Mommy and Daddy get done "wrestling."  I just kinda rolled over on my back, passed some gas,  and went to sleep. When I woke up again I went looking for a sammich. Not finding that I simply ate the brains of the first person I came across. Thankfully they were kinda slow, and unarmed, so it was rather easy.

Other thoughts that crossed my mind at that point were "no new taxes", no more laundry, and how cool it would be to be able to eat on the run, and not worry about dirty dishes afterward. I don't have to go to work anymore, and so long as no one catches wise the government will keep sending me my pension check every month. Oh and you don't have to take a bath or brush your teeth anymore either, so next time Mom says you need to do that before bedtime, just tell her "Why it's not like it will do me any good when I become a Zombie." Don't worry kid, Mister C's got your back.

Well folks that wraps up the question and answer session for this week. Keep those questions coming, and I will keep the answers flowing every Monday morning. Same Zombie Time, Same Zombie Channel.

Now you're on your own.

Well I'll tell you what I think, I think I am wondering where the fuck Lassie was when lil Timmy fell in the well.  That's what I think.

Episode four of AMC's "The Walking Dead" aired last night and it seemed to be mostly about well...wells.  Last time I saw a show which more or less revolved around a well, was as a kid on "Lassie".  You know the show where a collie had to keep getting some brat out of trouble.  While "The Walking Dead" hasn't quite gone to the dogs yet, it sure could use one right about now.

In this episode entitled "Cherokee Rose", Sophia is still missing,  Carl is on the mend,  the scumbag Shane is starting to look and act more like Lennie Small from "Of Mice and Men" than a trained officer of the peace,  Lori finds out she's pregnant, Glenn nearly dies in a well, and then gets laid by the farmers daughter. There is also a quaint story by Daryl about the meaning behind the Cherokee Rose, that quite frankly seemed way out of character for him. We find out that Rick is a man who speaks plainly, and get left with the sneaky suspicion that the kindly old vet and his daughter have something to hide other than her sudden craving for Asian tube-steak.

The only Zombie action in this episode is when our crew of future brain donors discover that Timmy, a now bloated  and water logged shambler, has fallen into one of the farms wells. With Lassie nowhere to be found they elect to lower Glenn into the well to tie a rope around old Timmie to haul his carcass out.  As is the case with all stupid plans, things go horribly sideways and Glenn nearly gets bit, and the crew ends up making a bigger mess of both the well, and Timmy.

I had really hoped against hope that Otis would make a return to the farm in this episode and tear Shane a new one, but it simply didn't happen. Hell not much really happened at all except for Carl getting a hat for joining the "I got shot" club, and Glenn getting laid. End Result: Humans:1/2 Zombies:0

Now you're on your own.

"Love it!! Even as a zombie, she's hot.." -Marquis DeBlood @horror-punks.com

"That is "Undead" Sweetness!" -Joy Killar @zombiefiend.com

"AWESOMENESS!!" -Winnie-Wonka@cheezburger.com

Well I'll tell you what I think, I think I normally I can't be bothered with foreign films simply because if I am gonna have to read sub-titles I might as well read a book.  That's what I think.

This just goes to show you that there can be exceptions to every rule.  As I said I normally avoid foreign language films like the plague, but every once in a while I happen upon something that is really worth the struggle of squinting at sub-titles.  Today's "Video Du Gore" is and example of such an exception.

This award winning  seventeen minute Spanish short film is well worth the watch. It is so refreshing to see other countries address the Zombie condition in their own unique way.  I so want to comment on the content, and more specifically "the cure" but I don't want to spoil it for anyone who hasn't seen it yet. So enjoy some spicy Spanish Zombie flavor, and give this video a watch. Speaking of cigarettes, I'm out so I'm outa here for a bit.

Now you're on your own.